You've Got to be Kidding Me
by crazyreader12
Summary: Leo comes back, the Flock are in New York, and Percy and Annabeth go for a walk in Central Park. Did I mention that Central Park is where the Flock are sleeping? And that the Erasers are back and after the Flock? This is set after Blood of Olympus, and a couple of months after Max(the book), if Fang(also the book) never happened. Canon Pairings!
1. A Hero Returns (With His New Girlfriend)

Chapter 1- A Hero Returns (With His New Girlfriend)

Percy's P.O.V.

It'd been three months since Leo Valdez went out in a blaze of fiery glory to defeat Gaea. We'd always mourn and remember the self proclaimed "Supreme Commander of the Argo Ⅱ", but the edge of the pain had begun to lessen with time, and would probably continue to do so.

It was after dinner at Camp Half Blood (Annabeth and I were skipping campfire), when this Iris Message came. Annabeth were sitting on the beach, her head on my shoulder, my arm around her waist. We weren't doing anything in particular, just looking at the stars and listening to the somewhat distant sounds of the campfire.

Suddenly an Iris Message shimmered into existence. The god Hephaestus looked out at us. Annabeth and I jumped about a foot in the air. Naturally, Annabeth recovered before I did, because she's just awesome like that.

"Lord Hephaestus," she said formally with a bow (how she did that I have no idea because she was still sitting)," This is quite an honor, of what purpose is this call?"

" I come with a message," Hephaestus said gruffly, "I was told to deliver it in these words. 'Get together with the rest of the Seven peeps, and come down here to this beach ,same place, same time. A sizzling hot surprise will be waiting for ya here in three days. Be there or be square. Ciao!' Again, not my words."

With that, oh so revealing massage, Hephaestus waved his hand through the message, and it dissipated. For a few minutes we just sat there. Then, breaking the silence Annabeth said, "Well Seaweed Brain, I guess we need to send an Iris Message to Camp Jupiter."

Three days later

Percy's P.O.V.

Hazel, Frank ,Jason Piper, Annabeth and I stood at the beach waiting for the surprise. Hazel and Frank 'd gotten here yesterday on Arion, four hours before Jason and Piper on Tempest. While we waited, we talked about random stuff. Then, coming over the horizon, flying fast, we saw the surprise. Whooping in jubilation, came a very loud voice. "The Super-sized Mcshizzle is back in business! Wooo Hoooooooo!"

A huge bronze dragon was flying toward us over the water. And sitting astride Festus was the real surprise. Grinning like the ADHD maniac he was, his hair and arms on fire from excitement, whooping as loudly as he possibly could was...

"Leo!" the girls shrieked, as he came in for the landing.

"Dude, Leo," the guys echoed in awe. And indeed it was. Fetus landed on the beach, Leo dismounted, and it was only as he turned around to help her off that we realized that he hadn't come home alone.

Calypso, I realized in shock, then overcoming my surprise, I walked over to Leo and clapped him on the back. "Dude, You're alive! And not only that you found Calypso again. You've accomplished what no hero has ever done before. Welcome home Leo."

As soon as the words left my mouth, barrage of questions arrived from the others.

"How are you alive?", Who's she?", "Do you have _any_ idea how long we thought you were dead?",and "where the heck have you been?"

Then everyone was hugging him and clapping him on the back and sobbing from joy and relief that Leo was alive (After Piper slapped him for worrying her to death).

"Whoa there," Leo said, looking a little overwhelmed, "One question at a time! I'm alive because I'm the super sizzling flaming hot Leo Valdez. ("Festus injected the physician's cure into him", Calypso corrected). This is Calypso, my girlfriend, no I don't know how long I've been gone, and where I've been is a long story."

It took a minute for everyone to calm down. When we had Annabeth said, "We need to go to the Big house and tell Chiron. _Then_ we can swap stories."

This was a good suggestion, so all eight of us turned and walked off the beach, the rest of us surrounding Leo and Calypso, blocking them from view so as to avoid a huge crowd of happy Half-Bloods and get to the Big House.


	2. Back to the Big Apple

Chpt 2- Back to the Big Apple

Max's P.O.V.

The Flock and I had been flying east for several days now. Our Destination? NYC, The Big Apple. We wanted to take a bit of a vaca before the next disaster struck.

Fang flew over to me . "Max, look," He said softly, "We're here."  
I looked down, and sure enough, there were the lights of the city, twinkling up at us. I nodded, and we all swooped down to a deserted beach. Then we started to look for some nice big trees to sleep in. After a while we found some in Central Park, and climbed up.

"G'night Angel, Gazzy, Nudge, Iggy. G'night Fang."

Fang gave me a swift kiss goodnight. We all fell asleep.


	3. Where the Heck Leo Was

Chpt 3- Where the Heck Leo was.

Annabeth's P.O.V.

All of the head councilors, Frank,Hazel, (all of the Seven except for them were head councilors) Chiron, Calypso, and Mr. D were sitting around the ping pong table. Leo was telling all of us what had happened.

" After the explosion, I actually did die, but Festus injected me with the cure. When I woke up, I realized that all of the navigation readings were completely messed up, which could only mean that I was at Ogygia." He grinned at Calypso. "Then I picked up Sunshine here, and we left. Before we came back, though, we had to make repairs on Festus, because he was pretty banged up. That took a couple days, and then we started flying for Camp in earnest. Along the way we fought off some cyclops and some random harpies which delayed us some more. Then we stayed at some hotel." Leo looked to Calypso. "What was that called again. Some Flower Inn and Bar, or something?"

"Lotus Hotel and Casino," Calypso corrected. Percy and I facepalmed. That would've added almost a week to their journey. Those two are lucky it wasn't longer.

"Anyway," Leo continued, "After we left, I Iris messaged Dad, who Iris messaged you. And that's what happened."

Now we told him about what had been going on here. About the added temples and cabins, the renovations in Nico's, and some of the new demigods at camp. Leo now had a new little sister named Liz. We told him about Octavian, and he nodded looking thoughtful.

"I was wondering about the missile that screamed like a little girl. Now I know what it was."

The rest of us snorted. Typical Leo. By the time that we had finished briefing mim and Calypso, it was around midnight and we were all fighting yawns. While Chiron showed Calypso to a room in the Big House, (with a promise for her own cabin later on), the rest of us went to our respective cabins to get some sleep.

LINE BREAK

The instant I fell asleep, I dreamed. I was in Central Park looking into the trees. Six kids, ranging from about six to fourteen were sleeping in trees. Athena's voice echoed. "Remember them. They are not mortal, and they are very important."


	4. More Fun With Erasers(Note the Sarcasm)

Chpt 4 More Fun With _Wonderful_ Erasers (Feel the Sarcasm)

Fang's P.O.V.

The next morning, I woke up before the others, so I decided to go grab something for breakfast. Before I left, I took a moment to look at Max while she was sleeping (No, I am not a stalker!) She'd kill me if I told her, but when she's sleeping (except when she has nightmares) Max looks pretty and soft like she never would awake. Awake Max is fiercely beautiful. But enough on that.

I went to a nearby grocery store and bought four dozen eggs and a large box of doughnuts for breakfast. What can I say? The entire flock eats like horses. Then I headed back to the camp.

As I walked I noticed something was off. At this time the Park should be alive with the sounds of little critters and birds, but there were none. I stopped and listened closely.

There! Heavy bootsteps. They were close and seemed to be heading towards the camp. I stealthily made my way to the nearby trail. Erasers. At least a hundred of them, heading directly to where the flock was sleeping. Crap.

I ran as fast as I possibly could back to the camp, only to find out that I was too late. The Erasers had sent ahead a little scouting party of about twenty to keep us busy. Double crap.

With an enraged battle cry, I jumped into the fray.


	5. We Fight the Werewolf Things(NOT COOL)

Chpt 5 We Fight the Werewolf Things ( _So_ Not Cool)

Percy's P.O.V.

The morning after Leo's homecoming ,I woke up to a loud rapping on my door. Annabeth poked her head inside.

"Hey Seaweed Brain" she said cheerfully, "'Wanna go for a walk in Central Park?"

I jumped out of my bunk. "Sounds like a plan. See you in a few Wise Girl."

Fifteen minutes later Annabeth and I were walking hand and hand in Central Park. We had snuck out via the ocean. I fingered the ring I had in my pocket.

"So how about we go someplace nice for dinner tonight," I asked nonchalantly. (That's right I know a big word)

Annabeth smiled. "Sure! Where too?"

"Well," I began nonchalantly, "I happen to know a certain sea god who wouldn't mind if we, say, wanted to have a nice dinner in his amazing underwater palace."

The bear hug she gave me was a perfectly adequate answer. "I love You," Annabeth murmured into my chest. I had a grin on my face to rival the Cheshire Cat as I picked her up and spun her around. Then I kissed her.

I could've stayed there all day, kissing my Wise girl. Sadly, because this is my life, that was when we heard sounds of growling and fighting. Because that was _exactly_ what I felt like doing. (Feeling the sarcasm?)

Annabeth broke away. "Uh, Seaweed Brain, what was that?"

"Absolutely no idea," I replied, "Let's go check it out. Someone might need help."

She sighed, and we ran towards the noises, drawing our weapons. Sooner than I anticipated (geez, Annabeth is really rubbing off on me) we found the fight. And it was _not_ what I expected.

About twenty werewolf things had surrounded five kids. Amazingly the kids looked like they were holding out okay on their own, but more of those things were coming out of the trees. While Annabeth and I were taking stock of the situation, a boy, about fourteen, ran into the clearing and stopped short.

As we watched his face took on an extremely ticked off expression. With a roar, he launched himself into the fight, battling his way to the other kids.

I looked at Annabeth, and she nodded. Together we charged. As my sword sliced into the first monster, I noticed something odd. At first I couldn't place it. Then Annabeth yelled.

"They aren't monsters, Percy. They should've dissolved by now."

"And they aren't mortals either," I yelled back. "We can hit them."

We didn't have time to dwell on this new development, because we were too busy slicing and dicing. Gradually we fought our way to where the strange kids were fighting. Schist, they were good! All of them were unarmed, and younger than me, bet they punched and kicked like a buncha kung-fu ninja warriors or something. For now they were holding up okay, but they were definitely wearing down.

The oldest girl had a bloody nose and scratches on her arms. The way she was holding herself made me think that she might have a bruised rib. The boy we'd seen earlier had a black eye and a gash on his leg. The others weren't without their own injuries.

The oldest girl looked at us in surprise, but she didn't have time to comment. Then suddenly all of the fighting stopped. The werewolf things stepped back and parted. Another one, even bigger and more hulking came forward. I heard gasps and a little shriek come from the kids. They all looked shocked, but the oldest girl was looking downright horrified.

"Ari," she choked out. The hulking wolf-dude grinned evilly.

"Max," he sneered, "long time, no fight. How's your puny flock doin', sis?"

"Ari," this time it was a snarl, from one of the older boys: the one we'd seen run into the clearing; with the shaggy black hair.

Huh. So they know this creep. Ari? I guess Max must be the girl. Sis? They obviously hate each other. For that matter what was with the flock? Annabeth voiced my confusion "Who are you people?"

Ari's eyes shot to us. "Look," he said, "I'd love to stay and beat you to a pulp," his eyes flickered to the dark haired boy. "But I got places to be." With that he pulled something out of his pocket, that when he pressed a button, filled the clearing with an impenetrable smoke.


	6. We All Lose Something

Chapter 6- We All Lose Something

Max's P.O.V.

I couldn't see a thing. The smoke was too thick. My only connection to anything was Fang's hand gripping my shoulder. He'd put it there when Ari appeared. I was about to call for a report, when Angel's voice popped up in my mind.

 _Max. Max they're taking her to Death Va_ -Her voice was suddenly cut off. A chill ran down my spine. The fog started to dissipate, albeit slowly.

"Flock," I bellowed, "report, NOW!"

"Right here Max," Fang said into my ear.

"Here Max," I heard from Nage, Iggy, and Gazzy.

I started to feel sick to my stomach. Angel didn't report.

"Angel," I screamed. Still no answer. "Angel sweetie, come on, report!" Nothing. "ANGEL!"

Fang wrapped his arms around me, and I leaned into him. Angel was _gone._ Again. Crap. The fog was still clearing, and now I could make out a hazy outline of someone else.

"Annabeth, are you okay?" A boy. Most likely the one from before. "Annabeth, where are you" now he sounded worried. I remembered what Angel had mind-spoken to me. _They're taking her to Death Va-_. I got a sinking feeling in my stomach.

"ANNABETH!" The boy had realized that the girl wasn't going to answer. It was the most anguish filled cry that I'd ever heard. And it was followed by a string of curses in a language that I'd never heard before. That girl obviously meant the world to him.

The smoke had completely cleared out now, and I could see the boy clearly now. In the confusion of the battle, I hadn't gotten a good look at him. He was tall and tan, well muscled, with untidy black hair and sea-green eyes.

He seemed to remember that he wasn't alone, and pulled himself together. He turned to the flock. Iggy seemed in shock, while Gazzy and Nudge had tears running down their faces. I figured that Fang's face looked as unreadable as ever. I didn't know what the heck _my_ face looked like.

"Hi," he said with a forced smile. "I'm Percy. Is anybody seriously hurt?"

The flock did a systems check. Some scratches a couple bloody noses, bruises, and Nudge had a split lip, but nothing serious. I introduced the flock. Normally I wouldn't have given our names so freely, but this guy and the girl had helped us with Erasers, and the girl had been taken by them so i thought we owed it to him.

Percy nodded. " the other girl, the little blond one. I take it that these wolf things took her too?"

I nodded.

He let out a breath. "So… here's the thing. I need some answers, and unless my intuition is lying to me, you guys have them, and that this isn't the first time something similar to this has happened to you. Am I right?"

We nodded.

"And you are probably wondering about me too."

We nodded again.

"I need to contact a friend in a minute, and if you come with me, we can satisfy our mutual curiosity in a safe place to recuperate and then track down and rescue our friends. I think that we can help each other."

I hesitated. It's not in my nature to trust people, and the first thing I wanted to do was to go rescue Angel. But this Percy and the girl, Annabeth had risked their lives to help us out. I sensed that Percy was telling the truth. I looked to the rest of the flock and they nodded.

"Allright."

Percy gave a slight smile, then closed his eyes and seemed to concentrate hard on something. He opened his eyes and said, "Now for transportation." this was followed by an ear splitting taxicab whistle.

At the edge of the clearing a shadow rippled and a giant black mastiff appeared. By giant, I don't mean big dog giant, I mean bigger than a tank giant. Percy walked up to it and scratched it behind the ears.

"Guys, this is Mrs. O'Leary, the world's only friendly hellhound and our ride to camp. Hop on."

Stunned, we obeyed. Percy climbed up on front, and whispered something into Mrs. O'Leary's ear. She ran straight into a shadow.


	7. I Learn About the School of Doom

Chpt 7. I Learn About the School of Doom

ANNABETH

When I woke up, I had no idea where I was. I sat up and rubbed my head. I looked around and realized _What in the Underworld, I'm in a_ dog _crate!_ Tn fact there were several dog crates in what felt like a… plane maybe?

Then I realized that I wasn't alone. In that dog crate next to me, a small girl was beginning to stir. She had soft blond curls, and looked to be about six. When she opened her eyes they were a startling blue. Wait a minute. I had seen this girl before. Was she?

"Yes, I am one of the those kids you and the other boy helped out" the little girl said softly, "My name's Angel, what's yours?"

"I'm Annabeth," I replied absentmindedly. My mind was racing. The way this little girl had answered her question without her asking it, it was almost like she could…

"Read your mind?" Angel asked "That's because I can. Your different though, I mean usually I can read all of what someone's thinking, any time I want to, but I can only read yours when you're thinking about something related to me. It might be better if we don't talk out loud for a while."

I decided to trust her. After all I didn't really have any other allies here.

'Alright,' I thought, 'could you tell me who you and your friends are, where I am, and what those wolf-things were?'

'Sure,' I heard Angel's voice in my mind. This was so weird. 'but after I do, you have to tell me about _you_.'

'Deal' I thought.

'Alright. My friends going from oldest to youngest: Max, she's the leader, she can fly (I'll explain that after) supersonically and breathe underwater, Fang, he's second in command, he can do the same as Max (but she's still the better leader), plus turn invisible when he holds still. Iggy, he's blind, but he can feel colors and see white, and is really good at blowing stuff up, Nudge, who is really good with mechanics and is mega super fashion oriented, she can draw metal to her, feel leftover emotions, and hack into almost anything (she talks a lot too) Gazzy, he and I are the only actual siblings, he can mimic, has super farts (which are totally gross by the way), and, along with Iggy, blow up almost anything.

'And then there's me. I can read and control (but not your's) minds, animals included, breathe underwater, and I can change what I look like. Then there's the thing that all of us can do.'

That's when Angel spred her snowy white wings. I drew in my breath. 'We all have them,' Angel mind spoke, 'Max's are really pretty, brown and white speckled, Fang's are pure black, Iggy's are light brown, Nudges are tawny, and Gazzy's are kinda cream looking, and mine are, obviously, white.'

My mind was spinning, trying to make sense of it all. 'How,?' I asked/thought.

'Well," Angel answered, 'Some crazy scientists injected bird DNA into our embryos, so we're 98% human, 2% bird. They did all these tests on us at this School in Death Valley, which is where they're taking us now. It's a total hell-hole. Those wolf-things, we call 'em Erasers, they're 4% wolf. As far as the flock knows, we and the Erasers (plus Max's clone which is just as weird as it sounds), are the only successful surviving hybrids except my talking dog Total. He's mostly Scottie, but we're not sure what else. He's with his Malamute girlfriend at the moment."

My brain was having slight trouble processing all of this. 'They experiment on _children_?!' I was starting to get nauseous.

'Ya,' Angel said sadly, 'Most of them die. We've seen it happen. Those experiments blinded Iggy. They were trying to improve his night-vision, but the surgery went wrong.

Just then I thought of that huge Eraser, Ari. 'What's with _him_ ,' I asked Angel.

'Ari? Well, he was seven when they Eraser-fied him. Max, ah accidentally snapped his neck when he was attacking us. He came back from the dead. Then after being one of the bad guys for a while, he helped escape some whitecoats. Then Max found out that he was her half brother, like right before he died again, this time in her arms. And now he's back again, and evil.'

There was a pause while I digested that bit of information. Then 'I've told you my story. Now it's your turn to tell me yours.'

So I told her everything, a 'in a rather large nutshell' account of my adventures from when I ran away from home at the age of seven, to the fight with the wolf-men I now knew as Erasers.

When I finished, Angel's eyes were wide, and she had a thoughtful look on her face. Then she grinned.

'you know what?' she asked, still smiling.

'What?'

'We have a real chance of getting out of here!'

'Huh?'

'C'mon, Annabeth. I have powerful friends who won't stop until they find me, and so do you. All they have to do is work together,'

'And all we have to do is wait." I finished

'Exactly!'

One little problem. I am an ADHD demigod. I hate waiting.


	8. We Aren't The Weirdest Things Out There

**OMG it's been like forever since I updated, but here, finally is Chapter 8**

Chpt. 8- We Learn That We're Not the Weirdest Things Out There

Fang's P.O.V.

After about a second of dark, cold and fast, we popped out from the shadow of a huge pine tree, on a hill, in a sunny valley. On a lower branch was a glittery gold something, and coiled around the base of the tree, _that looks like a dragon!_

"Perrrcy," bleated a guy's reedy voice. "What happened? I called the emergency meeting..."

Then he noticed us. "Oh. Come on, the meeting's in the Big House." He looked around at us, then asked, "hey, where's-"

Percy had shaken his head, and given the guy a pleading look, like 'please not right now, okay?' I noticed that he looked less together somehow, as if he'd been holding himself in one piece for us, but he was starting to slip.

We all got off Mrs. O'Leary, who romped off to a large building in the valley, and followed Percy and the other guy to a huge blue farmhouse. _The Big House_ I thought _real creative._ We went inside, and into a room where a bunch of people sat around a ping-pong table.

"You guys have your emergency meetings around a ping-pong table?" I asked Percy quietly.

"Ya," it was the guy who'd come out to meet us who answered. "You got a problem with that?"

I shrugged.

"Percy!" three girls ran up to him "What happened? Where's Annabeth?"

When the girls said her name, any composure Percy had left vanished. Max and the rest of the Flock weren't much better about losing Angel _again_. Percy collapsed into a chair and tears started leaking out of his eyes.

"Gone," Percy croaked, "the wolf things took her, and now she's gone."

Jaws dropped around the room. Grover made a strangled bleating sound. All three of the girls looked shocked, but I couldn't help but notice that the red haired one with green eyes and the girl with the choppy brown hair and kaleidoscope eyes looked the hardest hit. Maybe they'd known her for longer.

"What?!" almost everyone in the room had gone from looking shell-shocked to sad and angry. Two guys came up and put their arms around the choppy haired girl, and the other one, younger, with curly brown hair and gold eyes, looking upset themselves.

Just then the door to the room slammed open and two more people ran in. One was a girl with spiky black hair and piercing blue eyes,. the other a boy who looked like a younger, scrawnier version of me.

"Chiron, what's going on, Nico told me that there was an emergency meeting, but he didn't say-Percy!" she'd just spotted the older boy and seen the state he was in. "My gods, what in Hades happened?!"

The blonde boy who had his arm around the choppy haired girl replied. "Annabeth's been kidnapped."

The girl looked like someone had just socked her in the gut. "Say what?" she managed.

Just then a middle-aged man in a wheelchair spoke up. "Demigods, control yourselves. I, I'm sure that Percy can tell us what happened, and then we will set out to find Annabeth immediately. In the mean time, there are some young people here who seem like they would very much appreciate and explanation."

In an instant the room was silent exept for some mutters of "Sorry, Chiron." So this was Chiron.

"Let's start with introductions. Why don't you tell us your names?"

Max went first. "My name is Maximum Ride. I go by Max, and I'm the leader of the Flock." She looked at me. "I'm Fang. I'm second in command."

Max continued. "This is Iggy, he's blind, Nudge, and right there is Gazzy. You don't want to know why. Um, there's another girl A-Angel, b-but the Erasers t-took her too.

"And there's another thing you should probably know." Max nodded to the rest of us, and one by one we each spread out our wings. To my surprise, nobody looked completely shocked. I mean sure they were surpised, but in a 'okay that's weird, but I've seen weirder' kind of way.

Then they all introduced themselves. The spiky black haired girl was Thalia, the boy who'd come with her was Nico, the guy who'd greeted us was Grover, and the red-head was Rachel. The choppy haired girl was Piper, her blonde boyfriend was Jason, the girl with the curly brown hair was Hazel, and her boyfriend, who was Asian was Frank. A boy who looked like a Latino elf was Leo, he had a caramel haired girlfriend whose name was Calypso. The others were a buff, gruff looking girl named Clarisse, two mischievous, pretty much identical boys called Travis and Conner, and several others. None of them looked to be over eighteen, but they all looked battle hardened.

Then Chiron asked us to tell them our story. Normally, we, especially Max, would be more reluctant to share that information with people we'd just met, but Percy and the girl, Annabeth had helped most of us out of a tight spot, and she got taken by the Erasers. Also, most of these people were kids, whom we tended to trust more than adults. So, we told them the whole story, omitting nothing.

 _Now_ they looked shaken. Then Chiron asked us what had happened today. With that, Max, her unbelievable resilience finally spent, put her head on my shoulder and tried unsuccessfully not to cry. So I was the one who told them about the fight, how I'd gone to get food and come back to Erasers attacking my family, how Percy and Annabeth had run in to help us, and how Ari, the bastard, had set off the smoke bomb and kidnapped Angel and Annabeth. When I finished, Percy finally raised his head off the table, his hands clenched into fists, his eyes had a steely glint to them. Now, instead of looking totally shattered, he looked angry, and very, very dangerous.

"So," he said hoarsely. "Annabeth's been taken to this, this School, and she's going to be _experimented_ on." He spat out the second to last word like it was poison. I know the feeling.

"Probably," I said bluntly, "But we don't know for sure-"

Max cut me off. "yes, we do. They're in the School at Death Valley. Angel told me before, you know."

Percy's fists tightened, and suddenly the Big House began to rumble.

"Percy, Chiron said, a warning note in his voice, "the plumbing."


End file.
